It’s Aieeh’s 18th birthday and everything is fine. The garden is elegant enough to accommodate guests. Little lights surround the whole place giving delicate burst of tiny flames in the garden. Tables are arranged with dainty silver wares and porcelains. The buffet table is filled with abundant tasteful cuisine. The night is perfect, especially when Aieeh is introduced to the guests as the lady of the night.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the debutante, Miss Maria Isabelle Elena Arevalo…” The emcee’s voice echoed following a loud applaud by the guests. “…with Dylan Joshua Buenaventura as her escort.”

 

Aieeh looks gorgeous with her royal blue evening gown, which makes her look like a real princess. Her hair is tied up leaving few streaks of hair in the temples of her face. Her make-up is made invisible by the lights giving her an innocent look yet an image of a strong young woman. Beside her is the son of her parents’ best friends, Dyjo, a fine looking young man whose smile makes everyone gaze at him with delight. He has grown up with her and loves her as a woman.

 

The night continues on. Eighteen precious gifts and eighteen wines have been called. The eighteen candles are through. Only the eighteenth rose is left.

 

“And for the eighteenth rose, wow! You’re such a lucky man. Mr. James Ignacio, the last dance of our birthday girl. Let’s give them a great cheerful applause!”

 

“James, I’m so glad you came.” Aieeh said breathlessly.

 

“And I’m so lucky to be the last dance of my dear friend. You’re so beautiful tonight.” James uttered.

 

The dance seems unending. The whole crowd has disappeared from their sights. Their eyes staring at each other ought to speak the love unspoken. Yet time is not enough to give them courage to speak of their thoughts for music has ended before they realized it.

 

Days have turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. Now is the time for James and Aieeh to bid goodbye and face another chapter of their lives.

 

Congratulations, James! I knew you could make it to the top. I’m very proud of you!” Aieeh pretending to be happy.

 

“Thanks, congratulations too! So what are your plans now? Ateneo offers me a great teaching job with an excellent salary. I might accept it, how about you?” James said wavering. “You have always known that I have to go back to Nueva Ecija, that’s where I belong. Besides, our province is in need of teachers like me. Well, I guess this is goodbye for us. Take care, James. I’ll miss you.” Tears race down her cheeks as she hugged him.

 

“I’ll miss you too. Take care for me, ok? I’ll write you. Promise.” James kissed her hair.

 

Three years have passed. Time seems to be always in a hurry. Still, Aieeh exchanges letters with James. But these letters have only brought her the hurtful reality that friendship alone is the thing going on between them. For three years, they have exchanged letters. For three years, they have told each other “I care.” For three years, their friendship has grown. Yet for three years their true feelings have never been shown.

 

James loves Aieeh in secrecy and she loves him too. She is only waiting for James to confess his feelings for her. But James, even if he wants to, cannot confess the love he has for Aieeh. Because unlike her, James is not from a wealthy family, he has to work hard for his family and eventually earn and save money for the future. He wants to be stable before asking Aieeh to marry him.

 

Shortly, parents of Aieeh and Dyjo have announced the public about the oncoming wedding of their children. Aieeh has no knowledge about it, neither Dyjo. Although he loves Aieeh so much, he has never planned for it. For he knows that she loves him no more than a friend does. But Aieeh, not wanting to embarrass her parents has decided to marry Dyjo.

 

Many years have passed. They are blessed with two wonderful sons. Now these two have grown up and have their won families. Dyjo and Aieeh have been good examples to them. Aieeh loves Dyjo so much that when he died, she couldn’t bear the feeling of emptiness. They have been together for forty-five years and she has felt that life has to be with Dyjo. She feels miserable in their home for it only reminds her of their blissful years together. Aieeh has come up with a solution of leaving their memorable haven and get back to her parents’ home where she has grown.

 

Three more years have passed by. By this time, Aieeh is used of being alone. When she looks at the mirror, she sees herself in great difference than before. She used to be slim, stands straight and walks with confidence. Now she has gained more weight and walks just like any other women in mid 70s. Before, her skin was like the baby’s and her hair was silky. At this time, creases overlay her skin and her hair is feeble, almost gray at all.

 

One night, she couldn’t sleep and is bothered by many thoughts. She hears music coming from the garden. Lots of people seem to be there. Finally, she has left her room and has gone to the garden.

 

“Ah, maybe it’s just my imagination.” Aieeh said to herself.

 

She takes another step and smells the fresh air coming from the plants of the recovered garden. With eyes closed, she feels dew drizzling on her. Memories of her 18th birthday flash back – the guests invited, gifts given, the eighteen precious gifts and wine, the eighteen candles and eighteen roses. Now she is dancing, she pictures every man giving her a rose and then sways her. Her heart pounds fast when she remembers James, her last dance yet her first love. Slowly, she opens her eyes and places her hand upon her chest feeling every rhythm of it.

 

“James, I miss you.” Aieeh admitted to herself.

 

Since she has been married to Dyjo, she tried to forget James. She never even bothered to invite him at her wedding. She never even bid goodbye. She focused all of her attention to Dyjo, which soon she loved very much. It’s true that a heart can be taught whom to love. But deep within her heart is an undying hope that sometime in the future they will meet again, not to love each other but to confess the love that was long ago, unspoken.

 

The next day, early in the morning she wakes up. One of her helpers knocks at the door while she is fixing her bed.

 

“Ma’am, a letter has just arrived and it’s for you.” The helper said.

 

“A letter?” she asked while getting the envelope.

 

Aieeh closes the door and sits on her bed. She opens the letter and reads it.

 

Aieeh,

 

Hi. It’s been centuries since I received your last letter. I tried to write to you for so many times over and again. Yet the letters came back to me and you never replied at all. I hope that this time you could read this and send your reply to me. I don’t know if you are mad at me. You just stopped replying to my letters without any reason at all. I am very sorry if I offended you in any way. I have a very short time to live and would be very glad to meet you again before I am no more. Please write back as soon as you receive this. My hope will never die to meet you again as long as I live.

 

James

 

After the incident, Aieeh found herself in front of a hospital room. Her heart beats like hammer, she catches her breathing. She wants to turn around and forget about everything. But then once again, she takes a deep breath and with all courage knocks at the door.

 

“The door is open, please come in.” a deep voice coming inside.

 

Aieeh enters the room and sees an old man lying on the bed. She knows it is James but she has a hard time recognizing him because the image he has left her is a young man whose shoulders are broad and eyes are sincere. Now he sees him week and his eyes, full of sadness.

 

“Hi.” At last she mouthed. “I-is that you James?”

 

“Yes, have a sit.” James patted the space beside him telling her to sit by his side.

 

“SO…how are you now?” Aieeh still uncomfortable with the feeling.

 

Few seconds of pause, no one dares to speak. Until James finally hit the ice.

 

“Do you still remember our college days? You were so beautiful then. So simple yet very elegant.” James said.

 

“And you were so handsome then – those broad shoulders, your sincere eyes. Not to mention your being Magna Cum Laude.”

 

“But those aren’t enough for you to love me, right?”

 

“Of course I love you!”

 

Yes, but only as a friend.” James’ voice deepened than it really was. “I tried to say it to you for so many times but I don’t have the nerve. I have nothing to offer you.”

 

“That’s not true!” Aieeh starts to cry. “I love you not just as a friend but as a man.”

 

“I replied to your last letter, by that time I have gathered enough courage to tell you the truth. But why all of a sudden you have never written me back? Is it because you have known that I am in love with you since then and you have loved me only as a friend? I can’t tell you the truth because you are so rich and I wanted to prepare for our future.

 

“No, James…no. You don’t understand. You know I loved you. Why haven’t you told me those things before? We were friends for so many years and we even wrote letters to each other for three years. How come you never mentioned anything about it? Aieeh is confused about everything.

 

“I did, after your last letter.” Now James is calmed.

 

“You mean…Oh, my goodness! I have never written you back because my parents engaged me to Dyjo. I was trying to forget you. I told the mailman that Ma. Isabelle Arevalo moved out.

 

“So you ended up with him anyway? He’s sure a lucky man. By the way, where’s he now?

 

“Don’t ask me, he died three years ago. I might accompany him in the near future. Who knows? I’m old enough to die.”

 

“Same here. Heidi, my wife died almost five years from now. She was my co-teacher at Ateneo.”

 

“Life really is full of surprises. No regrets anyway.” Aieeh took a deep breath.

 

“Yeah, no regrets.” James sighed.

 

Days have passed by. They have decided to be married before James would die. Both have spent the remaining moments of James with laughter and delight. Aieeh has stayed beside him all the time. She has showed James that she cares about him and loves him very much enough to make him contented and happy before he died.

 

This time, James has puffed his last breath. Still, Aieeh is beside him. Tears befall her eyes when James bid goodbye. There is no way she could set herself free from isolation for strength has left her vulnerable. Once again, great loneliness has enclosed her into its arms.

 

“I found my lost one love only to lose him again…”